Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome: a Global Pandemic!

I don’t mean to alarm you, but there seems to be a virus sweeping the globe that causes women to perceive any diamond which they’ve worn for more than a few years as being significantly smaller than it originally appeared.  That’s right, diamonds all over the world are shrinking in size… or at least that’s what women seem to think.

Surviving Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome:

We don’t know the cause of the disease and we’re probably not going to spend much time or resources trying to research a cure (although we might start a non-profit organization in the near future just in case you want to make a donation) but the fact is that the diamond sitting on your wife’s ring finger has been shrinking over time and is in serious need of an upgrade!  Regardless of whether your wife is exhibiting symptoms or not, you should contact us immediately to schedule a consultation for treatment and to discuss a possible diamond upgrade.  Representatives from Brian Gavin Diamonds, High Performance Diamonds, James Allen and Blue Nile have also stepped up as first responders to help in this time of need!

The first thing that I must warn you about Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome is that it is extremely contagious.  If specific steps are not taken to obtain an upgrade of the diamond worn by the affected person, the symptoms related to seeing things as smaller than they actually are might quickly begin to spread to other areas of her life… for instance, your wife might begin to think that your, uh, now how can I put this delicately… well, let’s just say that you would be well served by quickly upgrading her diamond for a larger size if she ever mentions that her diamond doesn’t seem to be that “BIG” anymore.

Prevention is Key to Avoiding Diamond Shrinkage:

Since it has been determined that Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome will affect every woman on the planet who owns a diamond at some point in the near future, it makes sense to take reasonable precautions to avoid the onset of the disease before symptoms begin to appear.  The reality is that the cost of treatment is much more expensive after the onset of symptoms related to diamond shrinkage syndrome because at that point the patient is already suffering from delusions and dementia pertaining to the size of their existing diamond and larger doses of diamond carat weight will be required to alleviate the emotional pain and trauma.

Recent research related to the Diamond Shrinkage pandemic conducted by the Center for Diamond Commerce, also known as The CDC, indicates that every woman all over the world is currently infected with varying degrees of Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome.  According to The CDC, the origin of the Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome outbreak may have occurred during the original screening of the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes back in 1949.  The movie was Directed by Howard Hawks and featured Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Charles Coburn and Elliott Reid.

The initial diamond craze which occurred within women shortly after the movie first appeared in theaters was initially considered by the CDC to have been created by the song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” which was incorporated within the movie.  According to an anonymous source at The CDC, it was believed that the song contained subliminal messages designed to convince women that they had to have a diamond engagement ring.  Our source indicated that top level scientists working on behalf of the CDC now believe that popcorn consumed during the movie might have been used by one or more diamond cartels to spread trace elements of the virus containing Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome.  Unfortunately this theory can neither be proven nor disproven since no samples of the popcorn were collected by the CDC at the time the initial diamond related craze occurred.

Stay Calm, Treatment is Available:

If you suspect that you or a loved one has been infected with Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome, the key is not to panic.  You should however seek treatment immediately.  Do not call 911 and do not go to the emergency room, an inside source within the government recently told me that they have instructed emergency personnel to detain infected persons for a 72 hour “evaluation period” and that all infected persons are to be transferred to Area 51 in Nevada to work in the diamond mines believed to be located beneath the facility.

Do not be misled by Conspiracy Theorists who allege that Area 51 is a secret government research facility use to store a UFO which was allegedly spotted flying over Roswell, New Mexico back in 1947, that was a hoax perpetrated by the U.S. Air Force to draw attention away from their secret diamond mine.  Trust me, I have researched this and I know what I am talking about.  Pay close attention to the timing… In 1947 we have reports of a “flying saucer” being spotted over Nevada within close proximity of a top secret government “underground” facility… a “Flying Saucer” yea right, what kind of fools does our government take us for?

That was a Redundant Question, don’t ponder it for very long…

And then in 1949, “somebody” probably “the government” pays Hollywood to “Wag the Dog” and produce a movie featuring Marilyn Monroe called “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” but all that anybody actually remembers about the movie is the song titled “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend” to the extent that most people thing that the name of the song is actually the name of the movie…  Now this is where it gets really interesting… All of the people who originally appeared in the movie are now dead, that’s right DEAD.  You see where I’m going with this, right?  The government made them disappear just like Elvis!  Why for all we know, Marilyn Monroe was an alien and she’s is alive and well, performing live down in the diamond mines located beneath Area 51 and singing “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend”.  If you can imagine this, it might be real.  After all, time is an illusion.

The Cost of Treatment is Reasonable:

As tempting as it might be to throw your wife out of the car as you whisk past the hospital and send her staggering into the emergency room raving something about “Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome” with full knowledge that she’ll be dragged off to work in the mines… You need to know that in an effort to cover up their tracks, the government will inform you that she is being held for observation and treatment for an extended period of time… No Visitors Allowed.

Sounds perfect, right?  Well hold on Sparky, because treatment for pandemic diseases is probably not covered under your HMO… Nope, they’ll end up sending agents of the Internal Revenue Service (they’re like the CDC, but with different initials) to use the threat of seizing all of your financial assets to coerce you into not speaking to anybody about Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome.  Nope it’s definitely easier and more cost effective to quietly take care of arranging for treatment on your own.

Symptoms of Advanced Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome:

Allegedly the phrase “Go Big or Go Home” was first introduced as a marketing slogan for a set of over-sized motorcycle pipes called “Porker Pipes” in the 1990’s.  Now you know that I’m going to have to twist that whole “porker pipes” thing into a supporting argument for this feature article on Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome, so here goes 😉

Clearly the wives of all of the executives from the motorcycle company and the graphics designer were suffering from symptoms related to the final stages of Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome… According to witnesses, their wives had been seen streaking around the neighborhood under the light of a full moon, laughing about the size of their husbands two inch “porker pipes” and yelling “Go Big or Go Home” at the top of their lungs.

Needless to say that the executives of the motorcycle company had to quickly design a product which incorporated two inch pipes so that they could assure their neighbors that their wives were merely excited about the new product line and were celebrating the fact that their husbands were going to receive big fat bonus checks once the “Porker Pipes” were sold to the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Group.  This is a true story, I swear… You can tell people that you read about it on the internet.

Let’s Consider the Current Options for Treatment:

Obviously we don’t want your wives to be caught running around the neighborhood yelling about the size of your porker pipe… After all, what would the neighbors think?!?!?  So we want to help you find the largest diamond upgrade possible to help you avoid the pain and suffering which is brought on by the early onset of Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome.

Thankfully both Brian Gavin Diamonds and High Performance Diamonds have some wonderfully large options available at this time.  This is fortunate because there is actually a bit of a shortage of larger well-cut diamonds at this time because many diamond cutters are opting to produce diamonds of larger size with less visual performance due to the current shortage of larger diamond rough and the high demand for large diamonds which is resulting from the current outbreak of Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome.

So the first option which we have to consider is this Brian Gavin Signature Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.212 carats, F color and VS-1 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform.  You really can’t go wrong with a diamond like this, it exhibits a crisp and complete pattern of Hearts and Arrows and looks phenomenal when viewed while unmounted through an ASET Scope and an Ideal Scope… so there are no issues in terms of Azimuth shift, which means that there is going to be lots of virtual facets and that they are going to be producing lots of large, vibrant flashes of light which is the sparkle factor that we all look for in a diamond!  According to the AGS Laboratory, the diamond has a total depth of 61.4% with a table diameter of 56.4 and a crown angle of 34.7 degrees offset by a pavilion angle of 40.9 degrees… in diamond language, this means that the crown and pavilion angle which are the two primary “mirrors” of the diamond which reflect light are perfectly aligned for maximum light return!  This combination combined with the increased visual performance provided by the Hearts and Arrows diamond cut quality makes for one heck of a diamond!

Next we have a Brian Gavin Signature Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.220 carats, G color, SI-1 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform.  Put this puppy on her finger and it’s definitely going to demand attention all the time… it is going to face up crisp, clean and white.  The diamond exhibits a crisp and complete pattern of hearts and arrows, so you know from my explanation above that the light return and visual performance in terms of sparkle factor are going to be off the charts!  Just like the other diamonds from Brian Gavin, this diamond has proportions within the center region of the spectrum established for the zero ideal cut rating.  According to the AGS Laboratory, it has a total depth of 61.1% with a table diameter of 57.2% and a crown angle of 34.7 degrees which is offset by a pavilion angle of 40.8 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet.  The primary inclusions consist of diamond crystals, a feather and a needle shaped diamond crystal… all of which look fairly minimal in the clarity photograph, so it looks like an exceptional specimen of the SI-1 clarity grade.  As you might expect, the images of the diamond as seen through an ASET Scope and an Ideal Scope look great!

So the primary difference between this Brian Gavin Signature Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.264 carats, G color, VS-2 clarity and the SI-1 clarity diamond described just above it is a single clarity grade… Both diamonds are going to look essentially the same to the naked eye, but the inclusions within this one will be just a little more difficult to see through a 10x diamond grading loupe.  As with all of the other Brian Gavin Diamonds discussed thus far, this diamond was graded by the AGS Laboratory and received an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform.  The proportions of the diamond are in the center region of the range designated for the zero ideal cut proportions rating.

According to the AGS the diamond has a total depth of 60.9% with a table diameter of 57.2% and a crown angle of 34.8 degrees which is offset by a pavilion angle of 40.8 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet.  The inclusions indicated on the plotting diagram on the lab report are cloud, crystal and feather, all of which are minimal and of no consequence.  The diamond looks exceptional as seen through an ASET Scope and an Ideal Scope and exhibits a crisp and complete pattern of hearts and arrows, so there is not an issue with Azimuth Shift and the visual performance is going to be off the charts!  If by chance your wife doesn’t want this diamond and you want to buy it for me, ahem, I meant to say our non-profit foundation… we’ll accept it as a donation, but I don’t think the I.R.S. will let you deduct it off your taxes next year.  Just say’n.

This Brian Gavin Signature Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.284 carats, I color, VS-2 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform brings back memories because it is comparable to the diamond which I wore in my wedding ring… I guess that I was a little bit spoiled and it looked good too!  According to the AGS Laboratory this diamond has a total depth of 61.6% with a table diameter of 55.7% and a crown angle of 34.4 degrees offset by a pavilion angle of 40.7 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet… Are you beginning to notice a pattern in terms of the diamond cut quality of the production of Signature Diamonds from Brian Gavin?

All of their diamonds are cut pretty much the same!  The plotting diagram on the AGS diamond grading report indicates that the inclusions are clouds, feathers and crystals all of which are small in size and of no consequence.  This diamond just got back from being graded and the images for the ASET and Ideal Scope are not up on the diamond details page yet, but the ASET image provided on the lab report looks phenomenal and I’m told that the diamond exhibits a crisp and complete pattern of Hearts and Arrows and looks great through an Ideal Scope.  I’ll have to return to this review in a few days and update it once the images are uploaded to the site, but I wouldn’t wait for that to happen to purchase this diamond because they are literally flying off the shelf right now!  You can always put the diamond on reserve in lieu of the images being provided and meeting your approval before completing the sale.  Tell ’em I said so… Laughs.

This next diamond is A-W-E-S-O-M-E !!!  Maybe I want this one as a gift instead of the 2.264 carat, G, VS-2 which I mentioned earlier because it’s going to face up just a little bit larger… It’s a Brian Gavin Signature Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.358 carats, H color, SI-1 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform.  So we’re dropping down one clarity and one color grade, but it’s not really anything that is going to be all that noticeable and we pick up a bit of size… and after all, this entire article has been about SIZE ~ right?  According to the AGS the diamond has a total depth of 61.6% and has a table diameter of 56.8% with a crown angle of 34.6 degrees which is offset by a pavilion angle of 40.9 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet…

I just love how all of the diamonds we’ve discussed thus far have perfect proportions, we’re talking “text book” proportions… Marcel Tolkowsky the famous diamond designer would be proud!  The AGS Laboratory indicates that the proportions consist of tiny diamond crystals and feathers which are scattered throughout the diamond, it looks like a lot on paper but keep in mind that plotting diagrams are one dimensional and diamonds are three dimensional… so in reality all of the inclusions are not located on the same horizontal plane within the diamonds and thus they aren’t going to be as visible as they seem like they might be on the plotting diagram.

In fact I found the inclusions rather difficult to locate using the magnification tool available for use with the plotting diagram, so this seems like a pretty nice SI-1 clarity diamond.  Like I said, I’ll take it!  I’ve always believed that I should select diamonds on behalf of our clients as if I were purchasing them for myself (using your money).  As with all of the diamonds featured on this page, the diamond looks phenomenal when viewed while unmounted through an ASET Scope, an Ideal Scope and a Hearts and Arrows viewer, we’re talking only the best for your beloved!

Crafted by Infinity Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.454 carats, J color,VS-1 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the proportions based grading platform. This diamond is being offered by High Performance Diamonds and exhibits strong blue fluorescence.  Now this is a diamond which I’ve actually evaluated personally and it is drop dead gorgeous!  According to the AGS the diamond has a total depth of 61.7% with a table diameter of 56.2% and a crown angle of 34.5 degrees which is offset by a pavilion angle of 40.9 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet.

The primary inclusions consist of a small cloud of pinpoint size diamond crystals and a few extremely small twinning wisps located in the two o’clock region of the crown facets which extend from the kite shaped bezel facet and into the upper portion of the triangular shaped upper girdle facet.  Twinning wisps are twisted intergrowth of the crystal plane of the diamond which sometimes contain inclusions and I usually reject diamonds if they exhibit extensive twinning wisps… this diamond has a minimal amount of twinning and I remember deciding that it was not a considerable factor.

The diamond exhibits a crisp and complete pattern of hearts and arrows, although CBI really needs to work on their image quality for their H&A images because they routinely fail to demonstrate the precision of their hearts and arrows patterns… I take it with a grain of salt because I know the precision of their production and I always shot my own H&A images.  In all the time I worked with CBI, I never found one of their diamonds which did not exhibit a crisp and complete pattern of Hearts and Arrows… I think the trick is that they are the only diamond manufacturer who is attempting to capture such images for use by their dealers and the reality is that they should stick to cutting diamonds and leave the photography to those of us who are used to providing it for our online customers… this is something which I’ve recently discussed with CBI and they are going to make an effort to resolve this issue in the near future.

Awhile back Brian Gavin introduced a special line of diamonds which exhibit blue fluorescence which he brilliantly named Brian Gavin Blue and the diamonds from this collection are simply stunning!  I have always been fond of diamonds with blue fluorescence, if you’d like to know why read my article pertaining to the effects of blue fluorescence on diamonds.  With that in mind, I think that this 2.472 carats, H color, VS-1 clarity diamond with very strong blue fluorescence from the Brian Gavin Blue collection is an exceptional choice!

This diamond is graded by the AGS Laboratory with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform.  All of the images of the diamond as seen through magnification for clarity, the ASET Scope, and the Ideal Scope are spot-on perfect.  The primary inclusions are indicated as being crystals, clouds, feather and needle and they are all minimal, hence the VS-1 “very slightly included” clarity grade.  The spread between the eight individual high and low measurements which comprise the average crown and pavilion measurements reflected on the diamond grading report is minimal, very minimal.  This diamond should exhibit a high amount of virtual facets and sparkle factor!  It is definitely going to dance in the light and should keep the symptoms of Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome at bay for many years, possibly even forever.  This puppy delivers one heck of an inoculation!

Crafted by Infinity Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 2.538 carats, I color, VS-2 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0 on the Platinum Light Performance grading platform.  This diamond is without a doubt going to be gorgeous! The proportions of the diamond are right in the middle of the range specified for the zero ideal cut rating and the inclusions are minimal… just a few diamond crystals, a few tiny clouds of pinpoint size diamond crystals and an extra facet as indicated in the seven o’clock region of the lower plotting diagram on the lab report along the girdle edge and lower girdle facets.  The images for the ASET Scope and Ideal Scope are spot-on and once again the H&A image is skewed, but I’m confident that the diamond does exhibit a crisp and complete pattern of hearts and arrows and this should be easily verified by checking with Wink at High Performance Diamonds who will be happy to shoot a video of the diamond for you!

Next we have this beautiful Brian Gavin Signature Hearts and Arrows Diamond graded by the AGS Laboratory as weighing 3.122 carats, K color, VS-1 clarity with an overall cut grade of AGS Ideal 0.  You’re going to pick up a little bit of tonal value because of the K color, especially from a side profile… but the sparkle of the diamond will help mask the body color of the diamond a little bit from a top-down vantage point… still you should be aware that diamonds graded as J-K-L and warmer in color (up to Z color) will have a bit of warmth to them and this is not necessarily a bad thing because diamond color really is a matter of personal preference.

Some people prefer warmer colors and some people prefer cooler tones, we live in a colorful world and nature makes beautiful things in every spectrum of the rainbow and diamonds for every preference.  The only reason why I talk so much about diamond color is because I’m trying to paint a picture for you online and want to do everything I can to ensure that whatever diamond you order based upon my recommendation and advice matches your expectations when you open the box and feast your eyes on it for the very first time!

So as with all of the other Brian Gavin Diamonds which we’ve discussed thus far, this diamond is cut to the center range of the spectrum for the zero ideal cut proportions rating.  According to the AGS Laboratory, it has a total depth of 60.8% with a table diameter of 57.6% and has a crown angle of 34.6 degrees offset by a pavilion angle of 40.6 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet.  Big surprise by now, right?  Perhaps you’re beginning to notice a pattern in my selection criteria in terms of the combination of proportions which I prefer… this is my preference because it produces a lot of light!  Combine those proportions with the crisp and complete pattern of Hearts and Arrows that this diamond exhibits along with looking phenomenal through an ASET Scope and an Ideal Scope and you’ve got the recipe for a very bright puppy indeed!  And weighing in at over three carats, it’s going to be whopping brilliant!

If you’re looking to make a BIG SPLASH the next time you jump into the pool, then this 6.038 carat puppy Crafted by Infinity Hearts and Arrows Diamond will certainly add the necessary weight!  And it probably sparkles real nice when wet too!  It is VVS-1 in clarity and N-color with negligible fluorescence so it might look a bit warm from a side profile, but this is just the type of diamond that most women would kill for… if your wife is halfway down the rabbit hole in terms of displaying symptoms of Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome, this might just get you all the way to Wonderland if you know what I mean.  Needless to say the diamond is graded by the AGS Laboratory and received the highest grade of AGS Ideal 0 on their Platinum Light Performance grading  platform.

According to the AGSL this diamond has a table diameter of 56.2% with a total depth of 61.2% and a crown angle of 34.4 degrees which is offset by a pavilion angle of 40.7 degrees with a thin to medium, faceted girdle and a pointed culet.  The primary inclusions consist of three tiny feathers which are located in the center region of the table facet which is perfect because this way they are not located along the girdle edge of the diamond where they might pose a durability risk.  Here again, the hearts image looks a bit wonky in the picture, but I am assured that the pattern looks crisp and complete.

Now if by chance you’re looking for something smaller than 2.20 carats, we’re still here for you… It really doesn’t make sense to jump up to a two carat diamond, or a three carat diamond or larger carat diamond, if your current diamond is a half carat, three quarter carat or one carat diamond… And I’m happy to help you find diamonds of various sizes to consider if you want to drop me a note and give me an idea of what you’re looking for.  I am here to help and provide in-depth diamond buying advice regardless of the desired carat weight or price range.

Todd Gray
Todd Gray is a professional diamond buyer with 30+ years of trade experience. He loves to teach people how to buy diamonds that exhibit incredible light performance! In addition to writing for Nice Ice, Todd "ghost writes" blogs and educational content for other diamond sites. When Todd isn't chained to a desk, or consulting for the trade, he enjoys Freediving! (that's like scuba diving, but without air tanks)
Todd Gray

@NiceIceDiamonds

Professional diamond buyer with 30+ years trade experience in the niche of super ideal cut diamonds. In my free time, I enjoy freediving & photography.
The incredible #story behind the Sirisha diamond necklace by @BrianGavin 71 #Diamonds cut to order #Amazinghttps://t.co/dHOo1T99xT - 7 months ago

Leave a Comment:

6 comments
Diamondangel says February 22, 2013

I don’t remember too much after reading 2.454 J/VS with strong blue…I kinda got a glazed look on my face and started drooling as I stared into space, fantasizing about that incredible rock and how it would twinkle, oh so tantalizingly…shimmering in the soft glow of the overhead chandelier…reds, blues, violet…rainbows just dazzling…*thud!* My .67ct I/SI1 CBI may be little, but oh how she dances with all the colors of the rainbow. I dream of someday getting up to that carat weight with a J color and and strong to VSB (LOVE strong blue fluorescence!)

Reply
    Todd Gray says March 13, 2013

    It is so wonderful to hear from you Melissa! The Crafted by Infinity Diamond which you purchased from Wink at is certainly beautiful, all you have to do is imagine it a little larger and you’ll know what that will look like on your finger! Dreamy, absolutely dreamy…

    Reply
CDC says February 14, 2013

Actually, you don’t, you only think you do. It is this delusional thinking that is going to get you!

Be prepared.

Reply
    Todd Gray says February 14, 2013

    Just keep thinking that… we’ve got eyes in the sky and tapped your phone without a wire tap authorization years ago! Bought that shit at Radio Shack, we’re all dialed in and that lady who you think is your wife, she works for us! We’re talking deep, deep cover! Don’t think we didn’t learn a few tricks from watching Bourne Supremacy and Persons of Interest 😉

    Reply
CDC Admin says February 13, 2013

We here at the CDC vehemently deny that Area 51 exists. It is irresponsible yellow dog journalism like this that necessitates the existence of the CDC and other kindhearted governmental agencies to protect the unsuspecting public from drivel like this.

You will be hearing from us and our brother agencies the FBI and IRS for a full discussion of your lunatic fringe beliefs.

You have been warned!

Reply
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