Most men embark on the quest to buy an engagement ring like knights preparing to joust the jeweler. As if slaying that high-priced dragon will entice their beloved into loving them more.
In contrast, most women see their engagement ring as a symbol of undying love and devotion. In other words, they don't see their engagement ring as a conquest. Simultaneously, the presence of an engagement ring serves as a reminder of the commitment you share.
Plus, it's an indication of relationship status that may ward off other suitors. Arguably, your engagement ring from Blue Nile should be substantial enough to be seen from a distance.
In that case, it sends a clear message that says your fiancé is off the market. The diamond should also sparkle so brightly that it blinds ogres from afar! In other words, it should clearly state: "She's out of your league, buddy. Back off."
Relationship Advice from a Diamond Broker?
If you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll notice that this article is different. After all, I don't usually offer relationship advice to my readers.
Be that as it may, I am uniquely qualified to help you with your diamond quest and improve your relationship. Besides having 35+ years' experience as a diamond buyer, I'm also a certified Hypnotherapist and specialize in Strategic Intervention.
Under those circumstances, I've helped many people create better relationships and improve their lives in many other ways. Consequently, it makes sense to discuss these topics because an engagement ring is a symbol of your relationship.
In that case, this is the beginning of a series of articles on the nature of relationships. Of course, we're going to start with the diamond engagement ring's symbolism since that's why people come to Nice Ice Diamonds.
The First Engagement Ring:
According to the American Gem Society, Archduke Maximillian of Austria commissioned the first engagement ring in 1477.
In that case, Mary of Burgandy is the first person on record to receive an engagement ring. Afterward, the aristocracy and nobility of Europe began to commemorate their engagement with a ring.
Consequently, some anthropologists believe that the tradition is originally a Roman custom. In that case, the wives wore rings attached to sets of keys to symbolize their husbands' ownership.
During the Victorian period, engagement ring designs began to incorporate a mixture of diamonds and other gemstones. Those rings were made of precious alloys and often featured elaborate enamel inlays.
As the practice became commonplace, the Edwardian era gave way to the popularity of filigree style engagement rings.
"A Diamond Is Forever" ~ De Beers.
The famous De Beers slogan "A Diamond is Forever" was coined by Frances Gerety of the NW Ayer Agency in 1947. She is also responsible for the marriage between De Beers and Tiffany & Co.
Hence, the inclusion of the "A Diamond Is Forever" slogan in the 1961 film Breakfast at Tiffany's, starring Audrey Hepburn. Of course, that was just the beginning of an aggressive marketing campaign featuring Hollywood starlets dripping in diamonds.
Fast forward to the present, and buying an engagement ring is practically required. Be that as it may, this article is about the meaning and symbolism of an engagement ring.
In the first place, the "A Diamond Is Forever" slogan implies a correlation between the durability, rarity, and purity of a diamond and the sanctity of your marriage.
As such, the diamond engagement ring is a symbol of your commitment to the woman you love. However, it's also a non-verbal recognition that you value her above all else. Consequently, this is where many guys find themselves in hot water because they fail to keep that in mind.
The Boiling Hot Cauldron of The Ring:
If you're thinking about buying an engagement ring, then you've probably been in a relationship for some time. Under those circumstances, you've probably found yourself in hot water more than once or twice.
And the reason why might not have been abundantly clear. Of course, you probably tried to apply logic to the situation, and that was like pouring gas onto a fire.
Consequently, trying to insert logic and reason into an argument never seems to work. It usually only results in making things worse.
As a matter of fact, on one particular day, my late wife Robin tossed a blow dryer at me while I was sitting in a bathtub full of water. Thankfully, she missed the mark, and I'm still here to tell the story.
Consequently, Robin justified her actions under the guise of behavior modification. That event was a real eye-opener because up until that point, she seemed like one of the most logical and rational people on earth.
Up until that point, I thought we were having a perfectly rational conversation. However, in hindsight, it's rather apparent that we weren't on the same page.
The Six Human Needs:
Human Needs Psychology teaches that Six Human Needs dictate our behavior. Under those conditions, we must meet all of those needs to feel satisfied.
The Six Human Needs are as follows:
Most people are not consciously aware that the desire to meet these needs drives their behaviors. Nor are they likely to know the best way to meet their needs. In that case, most relationship issues are simply the result of not meeting our needs.
How an Engagement Ring Satisfies the 6 Human Needs:
To begin with, it might seem strange to consider the psychological benefits of being engaged. However, keep reading, and I think you'll agree that an engagement ring's true meaning is more complicated than it seems.
Everybody knows that an engagement ring is a symbol of your undying love and commitment. However, it also sends the unspoken message that she is significant to you. And there is the hidden implication of security, which is also known as certainty.
In that case, you are creating more than a memorable moment when you drop down on one knee and propose; because you are also fulfilling the lizard brain's need for certainty.
The Proposition of Meeting Her Needs:
You are creating more than a memorable moment when you drop down on one knee and propose; because you are also fulfilling the lizard brain's need for certainty.
After all, you have chosen her above all others. In doing so, you're making a promise to love and cherish her always, no matter what. And in doing so, you may become "the one" that will fulfill her dreams.
The feelings of certainty, love, connection, and significance invoked by this moment can evolve into deep feelings of contentment and happiness.
Or you can blow it completely by going about fulfilling your need for significance and variety in all the wrong ways.
The Unspoken Promise of the Ring:
Suffice to say that most women place a significant amount of trust in the unspoken promise of fidelity that accompanies a ring. Consequently, the threat of infidelity is a double-edged sword that cuts both ways.
As such, it might be the ring on her finger that keeps her focused on the relationship when things get tough. When women come to me for relationship advice, they almost always stare at their ring while talking about their husbands.
They often fiddle with their ring or spin it around on their finger. It's as if they're trying to express their feelings while in a trance. By the way, I consider that to be a good sign because it means that they are still committed to working things out.
As long as that ring is on their finger, it constitutes a symbol of everything it represents. In other words, we can expand on all the positive emotions and feelings tied to the ring.
Variety Is the Spice of Life:
Life would be pretty boring if every day were the same as before. Human beings crave variety because it makes life more enjoyable. Although that may be true, we tend to be happy with the type of variety we want.
Because there are all varieties of things that we don't want, like those events that threaten any of the other six human needs. The need for variety is also as individual as each person.
As such, you might satisfy your need for variety by watching a new move, while somebody else might prefer skydiving. There is a lot of variety found in diamond shape and setting style in terms of an engagement ring.
In that case, the sky is the limit, and the only limitations are your budget and imagination. For that reason, picking the right engagement ring is simply a preference of style.
Ring Styles for Every Preference:
Regardless of what style your girlfriend prefers, it's essential to appreciate that her engagement ring's uniqueness fulfills her need for variety and significance.
Consequently, she might want to upgrade her wedding set after a few years. In that case, it might reflect an underlying need for variety and significance.
A Side Note on Wedding Planning:
Although this article focuses on the real significance of an engagement ring, it might be a good time to talk about wedding planning. After all, most planning complications arise from the unconscious desire to fulfill the needs variety and significance.
Try to see the chaos for what it is and not get tangled up in the insanity of it all. In other words, remain calm and be a steady influence that your fiancé can rely upon while planning the wedding.
In that case, you're likely to score significant dog points in the certainty department by remaining steady in the wake of the storm.
To put it differently, by remaining calm, you demonstrate that you're "the one" who can weather the insanity of her ever-changing mind and emotional storms.
Remember that everything in life has positive and negative aspects. In that event, when things aren't going right, you can help restore balance by focusing on the positive.
For example, just remind your bride how wonderful you think she is and how this will all be worth it when we're married. Trust me; this will go a long way towards making your relationship unbreakable.
Show Her the Significance She Desires:
In the first place, there are many ways that an engagement ring satisfies our need for significance. As men, we tend to focus on the technical aspects of the ring, such as:
If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know that I focus primarily on cut quality. The reason is that the degree of optical precision and proportions dictates the sparkle factor and light performance. Those are pretty essential things to consider since everybody wants a dazzling diamond.
What Is the Meaning of an Engagement Ring?
Ask yourself what does a diamond engagement ring mean to her? And then take a moment to consider the type of value of that commitment.
You probably want to present her with a ring that signifies everything she means to you. That means that it needs to reflect her unique personality.
Consequently, that might mean a traditional solitaire because it's a timeless classic. Or it might require something more elaborate, like a custom halo setting or 3-stone ring.
Regardless of that fact, most women don't seem to get too caught up in the diamond's technical details. In other words, they might appreciate that it's a 1-carat that sparkles like the sun. But they're not as likely to delve into all the technical aspects.
Let Me Save You Some Time:
Of course, you can spend the rest of your life trying to figure out the true significance of a diamond engagement ring. Or you can simply ask her: "What comes to mind when you think about getting engaged?"
And then, shut up and listen. Seriously, close your mouth, bite your tongue, fight the urge to comment, just focus on what she says.
Take lots of mental notes because she's going to give you the keys to the kingdom. In other words, she's going to describe the ring of her dreams.
Consequently, it will be the one that she's dreamed about since she was a little girl playing dress-up in her mom's closet.
With that in mind, you'll want to pay attention to how she describes the ring and the special significance that she assigns to it. Be sure to listen for clues about how she feels about the ring, specifically whether she uses auditory, kinesthetic, or visual attributes.
Interpreting the Signs:
Imagine that your girlfriend tells you about how she used to sit and read under her favorite tree as a little girl, dreaming about the day when she would become a princess bride.
Her face softens, and she warmly smiles as she recalls the memory. Then, she remembers the little plastic toy ring that used to adorn her finger.
She describes how it used to "sing to her" (auditory) when the sunlight danced across the facets (visual) and how that memory warms her heart (kinesthetic). Now, imagine the look on her face when she experiences the same thing when you propose.
Of course, the feelings will be even more intense because she's your princess and the ring is real. In that case, the meaning of her diamond engagement ring will surpass the dreams of childhood fantasy.
The Significance of Sparkle Factor:
The sparkle factor of a diamond engagement ring contributes to the significance. After all, there is something magical about seeing your diamond dance in the moonlight and sparkle like the sun.
It can be mesmerizing to watch how your diamond engagement ring plays with the light. And I've seen a lot of women just sitting there moving their fingers and enjoying how their diamond sparkles.
For this reason, the sparkle factor of the diamond should be your primary concern. Although that may be true, it seems like most people focus more on carat weight, color, and clarity.
However, the slight differences in those characteristics are not likely visible from across the dinner table. Whereas the sparkle factor of her diamond engagement ring will show up from across the room. Obviously, that's why light performance should be your primary focus.
Something Borrowed, Something Blue:
While some women might fall under the spell cast by De Beers and Tiffany & Co's marketing efforts, others are more impressed by the performance. In that case, it pays to know the type of woman that you're going to marry.
I think that you should buy a Tiffany diamond engagement ring if that's what she wants. However, I know that there are more cost-effective options available that perform better.
Of course, I realize that I'm probably going to burn in hell for making that statement. But that doesn't make it any less accurate.
Consequently, diamond light performance is a matter of proportions and optical precision, nothing more, and nothing less.
Taking Performance to the Next Level:
If you're looking for the very best performance, then buy a Hearts & Arrows diamond with these proportions:
The proportions above set the stage for the highest volume of light return and a virtual balance of brilliance and dispersion. And the higher degree of optical precision consistency will produce broad-spectrum. That means that the sparkle of her diamond engagement ring will be more vivid and intense.
Getting to the Heart of the Matter:
Hearts and Arrows diamonds exhibit the highest volume of light return and sparkle factor that is bolder, brighter, and more vivid. As stated previously, the reason is because of the proportions and a higher degree of optical precision.
Not only that, but they also exhibit a mesmerizing heart pattern when viewed through a particular scope. On the one hand, this might not seem that important since that is only apparent when the diamond is unmounted.
But on the other, it requires a higher degree of optical precision to create the pattern. And that produces more virtual facets within the diamond, which creates the more vivid and intense sparkle factor.
Be that as it may, there is a less obvious benefit to buying a Hearts and Arrows diamond engagement ring, but it requires a little creativity on your part.
Imagine how she'll react if you take the time to give each of the hearts a particular trait meaningful to your relationship and how you feel about her. By doing so, you will create unparalleled significance in the history of engagement rings.
Every time she looks at the diamond engagement ring that you chose for her, it will not only sing to her; but it will also remind her of all the ways you love her.
How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Ways:
As shown above, the eight hearts exhibited by a Hearts & Arrows diamond create the perfect opportunity for you to express how you feel. But you can also make use of the eight arrows visible in the face-up position (and those will always be visible).
For example, each of the arrows could represent a direction that your relationship is heading. Such as moving towards a more profound understanding, growth, contribution, a brighter future, etc.
A standard ideal cut round diamond will also exhibit the pattern of eight arrows. In that case, you're not locked into having to buy a super ideal hearts and arrows cut diamond.
However, that's still the best option if you want the sparkle factor to sizzle! The blue arrows pattern in the ASET Scope image above is an indication of strong contrast brilliance.
How to Create a Unique Wedding Invitation:
The wedding invitation above is another example of how you can incorporate the hearts' special meaning into your relationship. In this case, the hearts' pattern's impression expresses the special bond between our clients Monica & Damien.
Simultaneously, the symbolism of the hearts is even more special because Damen took that photograph. Here is one of Damien's photos from his efforts to try and figure out the best way to capture their essence.
Consequently, he also wrote a great tutorial on how to photograph hearts and arrows diamonds. Another way to satisfy the need for variety and significance is to custom design the diamond engagement ring.
If you order a bespoke ring from Brian Gavin, you get to name the design in their catalog. As such, that ring design will be an everlasting tribute to the one you love (always and forever).
The Ultimate Symbol of Love & Connection:
Perhaps you're wondering why I waited until now to mention that a diamond engagement ring is the ultimate symbol of love and connection. That's because I've been addressing the Six Human Needs in the order presented.
Although that may be true, it's essential to realize that the 6 Human Needs priority is always changing. From moment to moment, quite literally, and the effects compound because we speak different languages.
Consequently, I'm referring to the theory that "Men Are from Mars and Women Are from Venus" and the fact that people interpret things differently depending on the subconscious filters that result from their experience.
Be that as it may, the significance of a diamond engagement ring is pretty universal. Under those circumstances, if you present it correctly, it will go a long way towards meeting the six human needs:
How to Present the Ring:
Be sure to present her with a diamond engagement ring as a symbol of your love and commitment. But don't just say that's what it represents because she probably expects you to do something "vanilla" like that.
Nothing creates deep feelings of love and connection more than the willingness to be vulnerable, even if it scares the shit out of you on the inside! Tell her how you feel about her choosing to become your wife.
But also about how you feel about the honor of being her husband and your vision for the future. Perhaps that might include the anticipation of growing together as a family or just getting a dog?
Either way, be sure to anchor those dreams and emotions to the diamond engagement ring. After all, one interpretation is that an engagement ring symbolizes the eternal circle of the love you share.
I've also heard it said that a diamond engagement ring represents the circle of life. It also represents your intention to share the rest of your lives together. In that case, learning how to meet each others' needs will go a long way towards creating marital bliss.
How to Grow as a Couple:
In the first place, buying a diamond engagement ring is a milestone of your growth as a couple. After all, it signifies that your relationship is transitioning to the next level of commitment. In that way, you are moving forward with your lives together.
Of course, the two of you will likely face many challenges along the way. Not the least of which will be planning your wedding. In the first place, most women have been preparing for their wedding day most of their lives.
Although that may be true, she's probably going to change her mind about "all sorts of little stuff" that doesn't matter. At least not from our perspective as men, and you should probably just come to grips with that now.
Otherwise, you're bound to go insane when she changes tablecloth colors for the one-millionth time. Suffice to say that if you think buying a diamond engagement ring was a challenge, wait until you start planning the wedding!
Teal vs Light Blue:
The odds are that most of those little details don't matter to you. However, the "little stuff" probably does mean a lot to her. Decide to take it all in stride because none of it is going to matter in five years.
The only important thing is that you successfully navigate the emotional riptide beneath that turmoil. Although she's not consciously aware of it, this is a test of the subconscious emergency system.
And it's intended to determine whether you are marriage material. In other words, that seemingly senseless babbling about pastel colors has a purpose. As does whether you prefer the taste of vanilla or French vanilla.
It's also meant to determine whether you've got what it takes to weather the storm of an ever-changing female mind. Consequently, you can save yourself a lot of anguish by simply asking her what style of diamond engagement ring she prefers.
Planning the Perfect Wedding:
Some women approach planning the wedding in the same manner that men prepare for battle when shopping for an engagement ring. Regardless of whether you're marrying the Princess Bride or Bridezilla, it's an excellent opportunity for you to work together.
Especially if you can remain cool, calm, and collected when she's emotional. Not that you or I would ever accuse them of being emotional, ahem.
I'm not going to give you any advice about wedding planning because there are people for that. But the real fun begins after you make it through the wedding day and the honeymoon period ends.
Commit to Keep the Love Alive:
Many couples find themselves wondering what it's all about once the veil of marital bliss falls away. Under those circumstances, it's not uncommon for people to wonder whether they made the right choice.
Unless you've made it a practice to help each other meet the Six Human Needs at the highest levels. Of course, that's likely to be the subject of another article, so just use your imagination for now.
It can be fun to guess which of the Six Human Needs somebody is trying to fulfill when acting a certain way. And then see whether you can find a creative way to help them positively meet those needs. Continuing to send flowers and scheduling a regular date night are good examples.
The Key to Happiness is Contribution:
Throughout my life, I've learned that contribution is the key to happiness. On the one hand, I get to help people find the diamond of their dreams, which feels fantastic because sharing my experience makes it easier for you to buy a great looking diamond.
On the other hand, the time I spend helping people through Hypnotherapy and coaching is equally rewarding, especially when they experience that moment of realization and breakthrough whatever challenge they face.
The act of contribution can create a sense of purpose unrivaled by any other six human needs. In fact, by focusing on how I can contribute, I was able to turn a very dark period in my life into something positive by using that experience to help other people.
The Satisfaction of Contributing:
From my perspective, the contribution is the selfless act of doing something that contributes to other people's lives. In that way, it is the one thing that can create a supreme level of satisfaction in all other areas of our lives.
The symbol of a diamond engagement ring contributes to your lives' betterment because of what it represents for your relationship. Because an engagement ring symbolizes the love you share and the beauty you see in each other.
As such, the sparkle factor is a reflection of how she makes you feel inside; alive, vibrant, and loving.
So, when she looks upon her diamond and listens to it sing, I hope that she hears the sound of your voice whispering:
"I love you" because that is the true meaning and significance of an engagement ring. Of course, it certainly is going to help if the sparkle factor is out of this world. That is a good reason to use our free Diamond Concierge Service.